Chris 'CML' Morris-Lent,
independent writer.

"Bringing Irony to Print and the Internet"

Freelance inquiries
and media requests:


  @CMLisAwesome
  cml@cmlwrites.com
  206.551.7843


Narratives and Essays

I Won a $5,000 Magic: The Gathering Tournament on Shrooms

How Amazon Swallowed Seattle

Why I Pee Sitting Down

How the Internet Causes Depression

Is Floating a Symptom of, or Cure for, the Ills of New Seattle?

A Journey into Seattle's Flipping Rad Pinball Scene

‘App-artheid’ and Gluttony at Google’s Delicious, Nauseating New Kirkland Cafeteria

An Oral History of Seattle's Graffiti Scene in 2016

UW Trump Rally Draws 50 Protesters, 20 Cops, "Maybe Seven to Eight" Supporters, Zero Ideas

The UW Trump Movement Is a Perfect Microcosm of the Donald’s Ridiculous Campaign

Reviews and Interviews

Jonathan Safran Foer Is Blind, Deaf, and Dumb

Jonathan Franzen's Purity Is an Irrelevant Piece of Shit

Sports Vs. eSports, According To A Lawyer

Author Umberto Eco Plots ... What, Exactly?

A Decade After 'The Game,' the Original Pick-Up Artist Comes Clean

Behind the Site Collecting Anonymous Amazon 'Horror Stories'

How 'Good' High Schools Can Be So Bad


"This is like an article on how Popeye's gives me diarrhea. Knowing won't stop me!"Andy Richter

"...an earthy, crunchy intellectual."Donnie Wahlberg

CML on KUOW dis(cuss)ing Amazon

Jenny McCarthy interviews CML on Dirty, Sexy, Funny

Interviewed on Sirius XM for The All Out Show

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Writing on Games

A Brief History of Magic Cards, with Alex Davis-Lawrence and Cassie Murphy, out in August 2016-available soon!

Hasbro is Trying to Make Magic into an eSport. Can it succeed?

Read the rest of my old Magic writing here and here.